Inquiring Minds want to know

There is an irony in these days of isolation and empty store shelves that leave multiple questions in one’s mind. My friend Mitch Teemley has provided a list of questions for us to ponder as we wander about in our sanctuaries of solitude. I pass these along for your personal musings … and perhaps a smile or two.

How did evolution begin?

Presentation1

Science:

  • If you melted dry ice in a pool, could you swim in it without getting wet?
  • What happens if you turn on your headlights while driving at the speed of light?
  • Would the ocean be deeper if sponges didn’t grow in it?
  • If there’s a speed of sound and a speed of light, is there a speed of smell?
  • Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
  • If a bee was allergic to pollen would it get the hives?
  • Can a pig pull a ham string?
  • If you put a chameleon in front of a mirror, what color does it turn?
  • If someone gets addicted to counseling, how do you treat them?

Arts and Literature:

  • If Cinderella’s glass slipper fit perfectly, why did it fall off?
  • Was Captain Hook called Captain Hand before he got the hook?
  • Why is he called the ‘Lone’ Ranger when Tonto is always with him?
  • Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
  • Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard (or any body hair, for that matter)?
  • At the ballet, you see girls dancing on their tiptoes. Why don’t they just get taller girls? (Greg Ray)

Language and Culture:

  • Do Dutch people always split the bill?
  • If a parsley farmer loses a lawsuit, do they garnish his wages?
  • Are mattresses ever not on sale?
  • Why don’t women put pictures of their missing husbands on beer cans?
  • What do Greeks say when they don’t understand? (“It’s all _________ to me.”)
  • Whose cruel idea was it to put an ‘s’ in the word “lisp”?
  • If “there’s an exception to every rule,” is there an exception to that rule?
  • Can an ambidextrous person make an offhanded remark?
  • Why do ‘fat chance’ and ‘slim chance’ mean the same thing?
  • “When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make you a vacuum cleaner?”
  • If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk?
  • Why do people sink so slowly in quicksand?
  • If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
  • Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?
  • What’s the synonym for “thesaurus”?
  • Are female teamsters “teamstresses”?
  • Are male seamstresses “seamsters”?
  • If you steal a clean slate, does that go on your record?
  • If pro and con are opposites, does that make Congress the opposite of progress?

And finally, the biggest question of all:

  • If God sneezes, what do you say to Him?

Have an amazing day!!!

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